A Real Smile - Destiel - Ch.1

SPOILER WARNING!!!! DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN ALL OF SEASON 5 UNLESS YOU'RE COOL WITH SPOILERS!

UNECESSARY SECOND WARNING: Involves some kissy kissy shnuggles and stuff (though not in great detail and not too much of the stuff.... also, none of any of those things are in this particular part...)


Imagine a world where Sam had never thought of saying yes to Lucifer and jumping in. A world where one little idea never popped into the younger Winchester's head. In this world, the brothers tried to simply trick Lucifer, to push him into his cage. In this world, Castiel never lost all of his powers. He could only travel by himself though and was basically powerless. Cas never came back to them after he helped them get to Adam. Cas made one little phone call, refusing to help, before he took off.
This is the first time that Dean has seen the angel since he carved that Sigil into his chest.

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Dean heard the familiar thudding of wings and knew that an Angel was standing behind him. Which angel? He didn't know the answer, and nor did he care to find out. Dean had had enough of the feathery sons of bitches. They always managed to screw his life up. Dean did not turn. He looked up from his calloused hands and began walking down the front steps of the house.

"Hello Dean."

Dean paused at the bottom. That voice belonged to Castiel. The one Angel he had been able to tolerate until recently. Merely because Cas wasn't in league with the others. Still, Dean did not want to talk to anyone right now, let alone somebody with shadowy, ever-present wings. Dean kept walking.

"Dean."

Dean ignored the angel.

The crunching of Castiel's footsteps began, following closely behind Dean.

"Why are you ignoring me?" Cas asked, his voice full of curiosity.

Dean shook his head. Cas still had no clue about the way human minds worked.

"Can't you hear me Dean?"

Dean sighed. "I can hear you Cas, I'm just not acknowledging your existence."

"But you just…" there was a long and rather awkward pause as Castiel tried to muddle out what Dean had said.

"Don't strain yourself," Dean said and stopped briefly at the garden fence. "The point is that I don't want to talk to you."

The crunching footsteps stopped someway behind Dean.

Castiel was confused. He honestly had no idea why Dean was acting like that. He just didn't realise that he had done something so horribly wrong.

Dean turned to look back at the house he'd left, expecting to see the angel standing there, trench coat flying about him in the wind, but Cas was gone. Dean turned back, loosening his tie slightly and rounding the corner. He slid into the driver's side of the Impala and just sat there. The passenger seat was empty and there were food wrappers littering the back.

"Where's Sam?"

Dean jumped and glanced in the rear view mirror to find Cas staring back at him, a scowl on his face.

"He left."

"Where did he go…?"

"Cas you didn't come to help us."

"I couldn't… I'm sorry," Cas looked down.

"You're SORRY!?" Dean nearly shouted. "You left us to deal with this crap by ourselves and now Sam has gone to Detroit!"

Cas looked up again, eyes widening. "What!?"

"We had a… disagreement… and he took off! He's going to say yes to Lucifer, Cas! I feel it."

"I… We must stop him."

"Don't you get it Cas? We can't. It's too late now. We had our chance, but you weren't here, and now it's too late!"

"It was hardly my fault," Castiel mumbled.

"Cas, you left us!" Dean huffed. "You left me and Sam and you didn't tell us why. We were unprepared and we had no idea where the hell you were!" Dean turned around to look the angel directly in the eye. "We needed you Cas. We begged for help. And you said no."

After a few seconds of silence, Cas turned from Dean to squint out the window. "I am not responsible for you and Sam falling out… again."

Dean flinched. He didn't let Castiel see how deep that hit him, just rolled his eyes and got the engine going. He couldn't be bothered explaining that his fight with Sam had been sparked due to Castiel being absent. Lucifer walked free. Sam wanted to go after him. Dean wouldn't let him and Sam had snapped. Again. Same song, different verse. Sam could make his own choices and wouldn't let Dean get in his way. He refused to accept the fact that he was destined to say yes, to become the Devil's vessel.

Castiel sat in the back of the car quietly for the whole ride back to the motel.

When Dean slammed the door shut and dug the key out of his pocket, Cas was already standing by the door. The angel forgot about door handles sometimes.

Once inside, Dean flung off his suit jacket and took off the white shirt and pants. Flinging on his usual gear, Dean collapsed onto the single bed in the room.

Castiel stood awkwardly in the middle of the room. "Dean… I couldn't help you… I was… busy," Cas chose his words carefully as he watched Dean from under his eyelashes.

Dean sat up. "Yeah? Doing what? Something more important than stopping the freaking apocalypse?!"

Cas sat down on the little chair that sat against the wall. He bounced his knee slightly and looked around the motel room with a slightly pained look on his face. "No… I WAS trying to stop it… I… Sam just… isn't our top priority right now."

"Get out," Dean said, shaking slightly as he pointed to the door.

Castiel didn't move. "We can go help him Dean. All is not lost."

"Yes," Dean whispered, voice cracking, "it is. We've lost, Cas. Now leave."

Cas shook his head and then he was gone.

Dean marvelled again at the strange way the angels seemed to flitter out of existence. They sort of… folded into the background. He ran a hand over his face and licked his lips. Pulling out his phone, Dean scrolled through his contact. He stopped at Sam's number. Should I call him?

Just as he was about to put the phone away, it buzzed into life.

"Sammy?" Dean choked out.

"No, it's me Dean."

It was Castiel.

"Cas, you were here five seconds ago!"

"I know, but you ordered me out of your room and I still need to talk to you," Cas said in his usual, husky voice.

Dean sighed and went over to the door. Yanking it open, he found Castiel standing on the other side, phone pressed to his ear. Dean hung up and stared at him in silence. He raised his eyebrows and leant against the door frame, arms folded. He wished that Castiel could understand why Dean was angry with him. He wished that Cas could just mojo back into the past and fix it all.

"Dean, I'm sorry. I truly am. I wish I could have been there to help you, but I couldn't. There was a very powerful witch who was planning on giving Lucifer more power. I had to stop him."

Dean nodded and looked up from his feet. Cas was staring at him, unblinking. "Why didn't you tell me this before?"

Cas still didn't blink. "There was no time."

In the past, Dean would have backed away when Castiel got so close, but recently, he'd become accustomed to the angel's personal space issues. Dean licked his lips and put a hand on Cas' shoulder. "Can you promise me something?"

Cas nodded, eyes narrowing suspiciously.

Dean nodded back at him. "When Sam's Lucifer and the Croatoan virus has spread, promise me that you'll stay away from drugs."

"Why would I…?"

"Just promise me, okay?"

"Okay… I promise…" Cas reached up absent-mindedly and covered Dean's hand with his own.

Dean pulled his hand back and let the arm drop to his side.

"The world isn't going to end like that," Cas whispered, cocking his head to the side.

A tear fell from Dean's eye and he blinked it away in frustration. "Yes it is."
With that, Cas reached out and slammed the palm of his hand into Dean's shoulder, squishing him against the wall. "Don't talk like that! Not again!"
Dean blinked down at Castiel in surprise. He felt as if Cas' blue eyes were boring holes into him.

"Don't give up! We've been through this!" Cas was shouting at the top of his lungs, his face inches away from Dean's. "You can't say yes to Michael! He's already found a replacement vessel!"

Dean was speechless. He didn't dare look Cas in the eyes when he was this close. It felt rude, as if he were staring into the angel's soul. He wasn't sure he was ready to see this guy's soul.